MartyrI want to say
'i love you'
To let you know that I care
not to seek or gain
than to simply be 'there'
EternityWednesday, June 24th, 2009
A dedication to the woman I shared the earth-core with - Daniela
Lifetimes ago, when I was younger
and the Sun shone brighter
When I believed the stars were tears
shining just for me...
And when I felt so sad,
I used to turn to angels
luminous beings bathed in light
unfettered by my darkness
I used to let them sing me to sleep
embracing me so tight
I never ran from the pain -
I always sought it out
Clutching it to my heart,
and screaming out its name
the way the angels did for me
They used to tell me that
by doing so
I could make it go away
Not by escaping it
but by becoming it
I used to dream...
I used to see such beautiful things
Whenever the sun fell from the sky
And darkness seeped into the horizon
revealing, with its coming,
the utter vastness of my universe
and the imminent beauty of my soul
I used to die...
Old Art - Untitled 1 and 2Sunday, June 14, 2009
Progressions. Memories.Knowing. Hurting - always hurting.
You walk on air, your footfalls light and feathery
You hold sunlight in your palms
as a dream caresses your heart
and whispers a song on your lips
Given half a chance, you could dance this way forever
Always holding that dream in your heart
Forever clutching the sunlight in your hands
The light and warmth seeping into your soul
Straying down such a glorious road, you could live forever
You could ebb and flow with time
rise and soar beyond the desperate grasp of gravity
And maybe... maybe even learn to love
But everything has an end
Every candle will eventually extinguish -
And whispered lyrics fail to move your lips
in time with the beat
of your heart - now dreamless - even bloodless
your warmth seeps
Water drops turn to tear drops,
even the flowers around you weep
Your keen sight soon turns inward -
darker dreams you did not seek
you remember what it was to live
Old Art - PervertI simply love the way that I hurt
the way that I scream, when I am at my wit's end
I simply adore the manner in which I
Over my losses
and my place in this world -
I know that there is pleasure to be found -
in a creature such as myself not just
knowing its place
but being shown its place.
Old Art - Loveless, UntitledLoveless
Nothing goes just as I planned
Somebody else always takes your hand
And standing there with naught but doubt
I always wonder what I'm without
It's in this silence that I have no voice
And I start to believe I never had a choice
Somewhere within it hurts again
Somehow I managed to fail my friend
I have to wonder if it's all my fault
The way I carry all this pain I've wrought
I always feel like I don't have a home
That terrible thought, forever being alone
Loveless again, it never ends
When I lost myself, I lost my friend
And though my heart may learn to mend
I always fear it won't beat again
So now what's gone can't be replaced
Those pieces will fade without a trace
Hearts will break and souls will ache
The smile I faked was my mistake
And now I'll have to learn to be without
Hand in hand with only my doubt
So in this darkness it begins again
And I'll let you know just how it ends
I may not be quite as alone as I used to think, but I am still so distant from everyone e
Retch-edSometimes, I remember the way my fingers used to
the quiet strain as they clawed at
my eyes, screwed tightly shut
a bizarre mimicry of my own
my mouth opened, wide,
as I tried my best to scream away
my latest attempt to
I-magi-nationSometimes, I'm in awe of my own
Struck-dumb by the enormity of
and the mind that lies within
It would be hard to overstate my
wealth of spirit
measured not in coins & gems but by
Galaxies wheel in my head and heart
My pride must seem ignoble
you would be right
Judge me for my crimes of heart and head -
I already have
We must temper ourselves,
or all is lost
A child dreams of childish things,
of being all that matters
of being the one
Being the only and...
And I was - my own - and I created... my dreams
I built within my heart
and placed upon it
I walked across this heart-felt
and inflicted upon it
And all the dreams that a child could dream
I dreamed upon my world
And for all the dreams I lost and gained
tiny pieces of
always at home
I tried my best
Procession'Morning' is my favorite time
of day - and when I met you
'Coffee' is what we chose
to drink and how we muddle through
'Our day', the one we spent together
and what we count down to
'Perfect' is in the moments
the little moments I share with you
'Love' is in every 'life time'
the length of looks that I cast you
'Forever' can be a promise
and a measure of 'me and you'
'Hope' is that thing I'd lost
and found, again, in you
ReflectionI want to sprinkle a piece of me
Into bit-code hoping it sticks.
But no one cares about the truth
Unless it's funny.
And I've lost sight
Of what that is;
I've been taught that it's all relative.
We're all irrelevant in the end
And so, the fire that use to burn in my heart
Is all Charcoal. And I've been trying
To see with no eyes; to drive with
But now I know I want to melt
Together people's 90 degree angles,
Until the world knows everyone's rights.
I want to melt together the distance
That separates prose and poetry;
Fact and Fiction; light and darkness.
Dead or alive?I feel numb
Is this death?
Or am I still alive?
If I'm alive
I shouldn't be
Because death is better
Than this cursed life
While You Were SleepingWhile you were sleeping
to whisper about you jealously
in their tiny little chain gang
bigger, badder, better.
While you were sleeping
their undying bond of friendship
and every face hardened
sadder, snider, solid.
While you were sleeping
conspiracies rose and fell
with your breath
and They rustled with laughter
more, malicious, mayhem.
While you were sleeping
Cancer shoved over other kids
in the playground
and took their place
suddenly, so, scared.
While you were sleeping
you were overrun
and we can fight it, of course,
with artilleries in the arteries
we'll, wield, weapons
but while you were sleeping
they took a misered,
into tumultous, tumourtuous, laughter
as you lay undefended
and they captured your heart.
He only dates broken girls.I will destroy you. I will
make you love me
without even trying;
you’ll love the scabs
on my knees, the bruises
under my eyes, my
singed hair. You will love
the rush of holding
my hand as we cross
the bridge; you’ll feel
like a hero each time
I don’t jump. You will buy
me chocolates, the most
expensive, to guilt me
into eating. You will buy
me seeds instead of flowers,
to give me a reason to
get up in the morning. You
will make me dependent,
even as I feed your white
knight complex. I will destroy
myself, and so you,
and you will know why storms are named after people.
The Horror StoryMy horror should turn to grit that chokes the rusting cogs of passing breaths.
It should sneak into crevice and corner until each pirouette of a clock hand crunches
a desperate death rattle into the mid-December hysteria. It should.
I want my terror to ooze into the machinery of existence and permeate the iron.
I want it to coat, and coax wheels off their axels as my mind spins out of control.
The whole world should grind it's internal organs like black pepper. To a halt.
The stars should feel the chill of my desperation and slide sluggishly down the sides of the sky
dripping burning nitrous into our eyes that in turn melt out of their sockets.
I want every subatomic particle of life itself to suddenly stop, mid sentence.
This is the way the world should fall apart.
This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends.
Not with a bang but with a resolutely maternal voice, strong as gravity, growling "Cancer."
I want the world so still that I will see the traces of the dead le
Ignorant WisdomThe best of us die young
We are blood and body
Mind and muddled matter
That decays from the very air
Necessary like an addiction
Our eyes are skin and sinew
Senses intaking a surface
But to the machine of faults
What is there lost to us?
The best of us are of will
As what will be passed belief
The demanding of subconscious
Edicts of the soul
Then why do they die?
Why must a will be severed
When it drives our existence
All that there is
And will ever represent us?
Why do vessels feed the muscle?
Bones hold up our legs
And a head with strong neck
That its aspirations rise?
The best of us accomplish
Tasks of a higher calibre
Like a barrel of the cannon
One volley into the stars
They undertake with all motive
And lose the unwinnable condition
For through their demarcation
Revitalize our weak hearts
The best of us die young
Because they are not us
And remind us what we should be
Through the greatest league
Of history's lessons
They sacrifice their chance to live
As watcher of the
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